Hope ?
Life ?

I have a major problem now.
I been sighing and thinking everyday. Even hoping.
It been a month that i unable to feel my friends's presence.
I get non of my friends care.
Non of my friends attention.
Going depression.
and finally . . . .
going alone.

Everyday when i open my eye from my sleep,
i will definitely stare at my room ceilings and hoping things goes well today.
Hoping that today will be better than tomorrow.
Hoping the weather will be good.
Hoping the time will go slow or fast.
Hoping there is good and delicious food.
Hoping to get new friends.
Hoping someone cares for me.
Hoping somebody gives me attentions.
Hoping i not alone.
Hoping that i receive message from somebody or even my friends that could cheer me up everytime i on my phone. But to no avail , it gave me false hope everytime i received a message and its from DiGi services.
Hoping and hoping.
and there goes my routine everyday,
and it always the same.
Nothing ever change.


And every night,i will sleep very late.
I wonder if people ever notice.
I doesnt want to sleep when it time to sleep.
I prefer to stay up and try to open my eye widely,
thinking that the dreams and thought always giving me false hope that could break my heart.
Before i close my eye,it the same ceiling i always stare and thinks and finally think to sleep.
My dad is working.
My mum is working.
My brother is working,
and my sister too.
Everybody is earning money,
except . . .
ME,
which will stay at home talking to nobody except the computer.
I find myself very lone and less talking at home.
My mum even said me anti-social.
BUT do people ever understand?
I doesnt want this either.
I tried and tried.
Wishing to go out but . . . sigh.
Everytime some plan has been made,
it will certainly sink into my heart,
staying disappointed.

One word,
ABANDONED
or
LEFTOUT.
Yes,i feel leftout from my friends,from my family,and from the world.
I wonder if somebody were in my shoes,could they understand me?
I know life is too short to score a highscore.
but i go no solutions.
I want to get out of this condition.

guys,
i feel lonely . . . .


And i am not saying my sympathy here.
I just wanna express out how i feel all these while.
Only the computer understand me,i guess.

Wish to go back to the past. Is there a time machine? :(
My final exam is just this coming Monday. Wish me luck then. Hmm
Signing off...